"Friendship has no expiry date".
This was part of a text message i received on my mobile phone, from a close friend.It set me thinking. Is it really true? Is a good friendship something that lasts forever and grows better with age? Many of us would have tales of how we have nurtured a friendship over a long period of time. But for each such special friendship that is spread over a decade or more, how many broken friendships are strewn along the path? Even people perceived as being very close to eachother have drifted apart/cant stand each other's presence.
My opinion on this is thus: Human beings always seek some gain in whatever they do. The gain need not always be something materialistic. The friends we make at any point in our life depend on our circumstances. Though one does not befriend someone having only ulterior motives( that is not friendship anyhow!), quite unconsciously almost all of us tend to be friends with people who will at some point of time be useful to us. We befriend those who share some common activity.So friends are mostly circumstantial. Once the common thread that held the friendship together, no longer exists or is no longer strong enough, the friends tend to drift apart i.e the friendship reaches its expiry date.
Nice Article, I think one reason that it actully pinches you is because of the the honesty.
ReplyDeleteWell, that said, what u say is true in most cses.But i do find it difficult to understand some friendships that seem to last forever and ever, even though the guys involved dont seem to have anything in common at all.
ReplyDelete@anonymous
ReplyDeleteYa, those are the friendships made in heaven i guess ;-)
An article worth thinking about!
ReplyDeleteInitially yes i feel it is materialistic, because the only way any kinda interaction is possible is thro'common activities. As time passes, we share thoughts, ideas and feelings.
U say:
"Many of us would have tales of how we have nurtured a friendship over a long period of time. But for each such special friendship that is spread over a decade or more, how many broken friendships are strewn along the path?"
Only those friendships we nuture actually become special and thats why i feel we tend to have many broken friendships too... it is but natural because it is impossible to have everyone as ur special friend.
But those "special" friends whom u talk about can only be the ones with whom u share ur deepest thoughts.And then, though ur actually spking abt circumstances in ur life to that person... ur doin so because u hv found a person who is not a part of ur family but still a person whom u can bank on.
I feel it depends on wht kinda common thread ur talking about... if its juz materialistic...i am afraid it will hv an expiry date. But those nurtured friendships wil never have one.
A good genuine real friendship developed over a long time never looks at materialistic gains.It can never expire.
@ Anonymous
ReplyDeleteif its juz materialistic...i am afraid it will hv an expiry date.
My point is not about materialistic friendships. It is about the friends who are there for you come rain or shine,They stand by you through thick and thin....but then fade away, once you move apart, like maybe go off to different colleges or go off to work in diffrent cities, etc.
These kinds of friendships ARE special while they exist, but they do go off the boil too..it is what i like to call in kannada , "runaanubandha".
We are fated to be a part of someone's life for their entire life or maybe for a limited period only. It is the latter that makes me feel that there is an expiry date, not just to friendships, but to everything.
PS: It will be nice to know whom i am discussing with; could you please not remain anonymous.
"It is about the friends who are there for you come rain or shine,They stand by you through thick and thin....but then fade away, once you move apart, like maybe go off to different colleges or go off to work in diffrent cities, etc."
ReplyDeleteIts hard to come to a conclusion that such a friendship which is well nurtured and cared for can actually fade away!!! just because of different colleges, different workplace and different lifestyles.
I do agree that there is that amount of separation caused by different events happening in each other's lives but it cannot go to the extent of fading away juz for the simple reason that, such a special friend will be very much a part of our world too.
And from what i understand of "runaanubandha", it also means that we were destined to find such special friends after all! And so they would be very much be a part of our world all our lives.
It is very natural for us and those special people also to find new friends... but yet the new ones cannot replace the old ones because the person can be replaced (maybe)but not his/her friendship! So true friendships dont have an expiry date.. only the people do!
i agree that there are many friendships out there built out of materialistic needs. these have an expiry date. most people make friends in primary school with people who more or less get the same marks as them. this leads to creation of groups without anybody realising it. this is mostly true with most guys. then when the same guy come to high school then its a mixture of interests along with grades that determines his friends. though it would still be mainly on grades. its when he's 15+ when he'll start thinking about friends from a different perspective. still it would not be materialistic by any account. by the end of school, when he's separated from his friends, is when he'll truly start thinking about friends and friendship. in col harmones and interest will make it to the top of the priority list rather than grades. i think its only when one's no longer in the academic line and is working will the urge for materialistic friends build up. but for someone who's had great friends and knows the true value of friendship, whatever the sweetner, i doubt will fall into the materialistic trap.
ReplyDelete---***---
hey, c'mon....
ReplyDeletegrades dint play a part in who my friends were in HS or college..
I guess this is true for most people,
i have had a lot of friends covering the entire spectrum of grades...as have you, i am sure!
Did how well a person do academically, really play such an important part in deciding who your friends were!? I am surprised.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts.